I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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