Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
