You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
