do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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