craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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