the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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