just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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