So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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