My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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