Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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