He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
