My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Operation Purity has been aborted
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
