Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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