The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
