she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
