I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
