It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
