Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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