I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
