he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
