You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
