Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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