i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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