You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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