i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
