...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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