whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
