Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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