You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
