Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
