I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
