Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
