did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
