you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
