So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You smell like a Billy Joel song
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
