there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
