ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
