"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize