You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
