Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
