I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can I color on your dick again?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
