don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize