I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
