I cockslap morals
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
