id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
