went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize