so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize