How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Randomize
