I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
