we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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