worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
