I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
