I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
