The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
