masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
