dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
