Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
