Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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