I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
