Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
