i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
