I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
