turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize