i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
