remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
