It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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