he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm really busy with my period
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