i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
