just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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