I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Please don't give away my fajitas
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
