i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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