So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
