You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
