this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize